F.E.A.R

So there are many ideas i have for blog posts that are pending in my brain. But something happened to me on this Christmas eve that i feel i must share immediately because Im still having trouble processing it. I really dont have that many fears in life... you know the usual: dying alone, a world without midgets, having someone dye my hair blonde in my sleep... But i realized something today. Since moving to australia i've developed a new fear. And let me just say i am not happy about it. Lets rewind.
Remeber the convo i've previously stated with Rena about the cockroaches and spiders. Well apparently there are spiders in australia that kill people. There is one that if it bites you,  you have a few hours to get to the hospital but the whole time its poison is in your brain giving you "the crazies" as someone has described it to me and who knows what kind of permanent damage that can cause.... I dont want to find out... Then the other spider which Rena says and i quote "if you see one that is black and hairy, run away. Dont try to kill it or even look at it... run away as fast as you can" Awesome. It is that spider that apparently one bite and sayonara sucker... So in reading this i bet you are thinking, "okay Jordyn many people have a fear of spiders, big whoop"... Ya well that isnt my fear at all. I apparently have a fear of spider WEBS.
The other day when i was running I took a wrong turn and ended up on a different path than intended (clearly we all know my sense of direction is about as good as Helen Keller (even as i type that i know that was harsh... but true)) So i see the path i need and it is about 6 feet through a small wooded area. Me being the Bear Grylls that i am was like "no sweat i'll just run through these trees to get back on track" So i make my detour and run through a spider web... no worries right? I get about a quarter mile and feel some web still on me and think "hmmm... probably not the best idea to not know which spider web i ran through" so then i start of course feeling like a spider is crawling on me... which this story ends up with me shirtless banging my shirt on the ground and swatting my own head trying to rid myself of potential spiders. (and we wonder why i havent made friends)
So that was my first realization that hmmm... this could be an issue. It wasnt until about 20 minutes ago that i now know i am deathly afraid of spider webs, how did i realize this? let me set the scene. Im walking home from the lab and lets just say the street lights on the 3 block walk are on a scale of: non existent-candlelight would probably be better... Im just sauntering minding my own business when BAMMMM!!! walk straight through a spider web... and im sure everyone in the neighborhood thought someone got raped the way i screamed. Im talking blood curdling scream...top of my lungs. followed by the what looked like ninja moves/swatting my body trying to get the web off me. I realized quickly after making such a commotion i needed to flee the scene since i probably worried many... get to my driveway... WALK THROUGH ANOTHER WEB!!!! Lets just say the next things out of my mouth shant be repeated but the first thing rhymed with "Other Trucker" And we'll say the second thing was "Happy Birthday Jesus Christ" Only Happy Birthday was just a couple decibels lower than the second half. So when i hit the second web i retreated from the drive way doing the "karate swat" and then refused to walk down the driveway until i had my flashlight app out. Only of course i walked down the driveway like the main character of a friday the 13th movie... slow and looking around like a killer would pop out any moment. Get the the gate that leads to the front door and i shit you not when i go to put the key in to the lock my arm goes through YET ANOTHER WEB!!!! and i know im becoming australian when i yell "BLOODY HELL!" no joke.
I then immediately got in the shower to wash off potential spiders/webs... 5 minute naked squeegy... needless to say I have a full blown fear. Spider webs...Cause in the dark you dont know who built them...